Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
