i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
