i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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