my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
