I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
