i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize