Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
