Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize