so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
