Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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