So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
