My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
