I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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