i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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