I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
