I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
