Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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