don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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