Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
