I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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