may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
