Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it because I queefed?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize