im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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