is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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