You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
