Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
