The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize