it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Girls should come with a carfax report
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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