I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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