i just google imaged poop.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
