Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
