She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
