I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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