I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
