Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
