If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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