Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
