sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Watching her eat just hurts me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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