Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
