So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
