After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
