Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
3pm strippers are depressing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
