My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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