I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
