you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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