on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
