You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize