He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
