if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
