dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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