she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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