I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize