Just fell off a train. Bad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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