If that was your dad, he is hot
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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