Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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