I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
