dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
