Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
