Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
