Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
