I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
