but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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