So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize