You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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